


Make Me A Robot

by lunandginny



Category: Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 04:19:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11775363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunandginny/pseuds/lunandginny
Summary: It's the morning two days after the 2016 election and Hillary is tired of feeling.





	Make Me A Robot

**Author's Note:**

> The inspiration for this story came to me when I listened to the song "Make Me A Robot" by Tessa Violet. This is my first try in the world of fanfic, so please let me know what you think!

**_Make Me a Robot by Tessa Violet:[listen recommended](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2auHkP-iJ9E)_ **

 

 

_I don’t want to be a human anymore_

_I’m done_

_I don’t want to make mistakes anymore_

_He’s won_

  


Cold. She was impervious to the snugness of the bedsheets and the warmth of her husband’s arms wrapped around her as he slept. She felt cold. She had been trying to feel cold. It was better than what she would otherwise be feeling.

This was supposed to be her time. America was supposed to be ready for her. However, as morning dawned on November 10th she didn’t feel that it would be for a long time. Images flashed through her head, every single thing she had said or done wrong on the campaign trail that had affected the results of the election that had just been held. She wished so badly she could go back and change what she had done, and do it better.

However, if there was one thing that Hillary had learned, it was that the republicans, and indeed, many people on the far left would find something to criticize her for, and they always would.

_I’m too old to change_

_Take my heart I’ll restart_

_Please just let me fall apart_

_You may say it’s strange_

_But I quit,  guess that’s it_

_For a human I’m unfit so_

  


She thought back at how throughout her career she had been called her robotic, with people calling into question her very being. They doubted that she had any feelings at all. The injustice of that thought made her eyes burn.

The way she was feeling right now, there could be no doubt that she was fully human, fully feeling. However, she had never wished so desperately that she could be freed of it all. The hurt. The guilt. The feeling of worthlessness.

  


_Make me a robot_

_Make me a robot_

_Make make me cold_

_Make me a robot_

_Make me a robot_

_Take take my soul_

  


She untangled herself from her husband’s arms and he stirred. Hillary looked over at him for a few seconds and then turned away and slowly got out of bed. She walked downstairs to the living room where light poured in from the many windows in the room. She found that the view into the forest behind her home that she loved to go for walks in gave her no comfort any more, and brought her no joy.

She slumped down on the window seat and leaned her head against the cold glass, looking into the garden along the wall of her house. Images of the past year and a half started swirling through her head.

She remembered the pain she felt during the 3 presidential debates, and having to hold it all in. She remembered all the countless attacks that were thrown at her, that opened old wounds.

As these memories continued to flood her mind, tears started to build up in her eyes. She didn’t have the energy to hold it all in anymore.

  


_I don’t want to have to fight anymore_

_I’m tired_

_I don’t want to have to feel anymore_

_Uninspired_

  


All the work she had done throughout her career had been to help the American people, but when she tried to go higher, to do more for them, they had rejected her. They had treated her like she had done nothing for them in her life. They had turned her away for someone who had never even cared about anybody but himself.

All the work she had done for the Children’s Defense Fund, as a lawyer, a first lady, a senator, as Secretary of State, this final rejection made it feel as everything that she had been through had meant nothing to them. They didn’t seem to care that she kept going when she was knocked down completely for them.

The tears started to run down her cheeks, and she desperately wished she could just stop feeling. Everything hurt. She was worn out and tired. She knew that people would be expecting her to get back up because that’s what she always did, but she didn’t want to.

‘Fuck them,’ she half thought, feeling anger and betrayal towards the group of people she had dedicated her life to working for. It was then that Hillary became aware of a presence on the stairs watching her.

  


_I am too worn out_

_Broken down, on the ground; I’m to shy to make a sound_

_All I have is doubt_

_I don’t care, you can stare, cause a human can’t compare, so..._

  


Hillary didn’t move as she heard her husband walk the rest of the way down the stairs and come up behind her.

“Honey...” His gentle voice trailed off as his hand came to rest on her shoulder.

More tears spilled over in Hillary’s eyes as she remembered all the times that his past actions had hurt her not only emotionally, but politically as well. She loved him so much, but still wished that pain would just go away.

Bill kneeled down beside her and pulled her in towards him in a sideways hug. “I wish I could take away the pain you’re feeling right now, Hilly.”

Hillary leaned into him, finding comfort in his presence, but still feeling the incredible weight of everything that had happened to her over the past year.

“I love you,” she managed to speak. “I wouldn’t be able to do this without... I still don’t know how to do this. I don’t want to feel any of this anymore.”

_To human is to err, forgiveness is divine_

_I don’t care, you can take my spine_

_‘Cause I’m spineless anyway, I don’t need another day or a call_

_Take it all_

  


Bill’s other hand ran through her hair as her shoulders started to shake and her eyes closed.

“Just let it out, sweetie,” he whispered. “I’m not going anywhere.”

How ironic was it, Hillary thought, that the one thing Hillary wished she could be right now was the one people accused her of being. Unfeeling, cold, emotionless, impossible to hurt or be hurt. She didn’t want to have to put up with the double standards anymore, to be blamed for things that she had nothing to do with.

But as much as she wished it could end, she knew it never would. She would always have enemies who said she didn’t actually care about anyone but herself, that she had allowed bad things to happen not only to Americans, but also to herself.

“Just let it all out, Hill,” Bill whispered again. “What other people think about you doesn’t matter.”  
  
She allowed herself to listen to his words of understanding and support, leaning into him as she cried.

  


_I don’t want to be a human anymore_

_I’m done_

_I don’t want to have to feel anymore_

_He’s won_

  


“I love you so much sweetheart,” Bill whispered one last time, as his own tears started rolling down his cheeks, hating to see his wife hurting so much, wishing he could take it from her and feel it instead.

_Make me a robot_

_Make me a robot_

_Make make me cold_

_Make me a robot_

_Make me a robot_

_Take take my soul_

  


Bill continued to hold her close as she whispered gently “I love you too.”

  


_Make me a robot_

_Make me a robot_

_Make make me cold_

_Make me a robot_

_Make me a robot_

_Take take my soul_

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Remind Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11948697) by [LinguistLove_24](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinguistLove_24/pseuds/LinguistLove_24)




End file.
